My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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