My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
