After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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