No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
