DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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