I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
