Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
