who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
