Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
