Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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