I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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