Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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