You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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