I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
