listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
