She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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