you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
