He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
PANTIES FOUND
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