The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
