I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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