My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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