I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
