Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize