Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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