I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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