just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
