Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
