im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
