oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am one with the molecules
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
