Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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