i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
can u get pink eye on your cock?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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