he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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