I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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