Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I bet he comes in French.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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