I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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