I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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