I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
