She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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