My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
