i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
