I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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