i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
