The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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