I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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