Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
4 words: hood of his car
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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