3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
