I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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