i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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