shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
