so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
