My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
