McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
