the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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