She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
