I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The power of my boobs compel you
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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