She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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