At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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