i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
