would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
