im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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