Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
