So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize