Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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