hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
