i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Green mimosas i think yes
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
