i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
