I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
