remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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