whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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