How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
