oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i love accidental penises.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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