This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
